Parenting a child with autism is a journey marked by boundless love, unparalleled dedication, and, often, significant challenges. It’s a role that demands immense emotional strength, adaptability, and resilience. Many parents find themselves navigating an overwhelming storm of decisions, therapies, and well-meaning advice while struggling to ensure their own well-being. So, how can parents not only survive but truly thrive in this journey?
In a transformative discussion between Dr. Tony Eel and empowerment coach Len Aruri, they addressed a vital truth: parents are the key to unlocking their child’s potential, and their ability to lead as confident decision-makers is critical. Drawing from Len’s personal journey raising his son, Ry, who was diagnosed with autism at 18 months and is now thriving at 18 years old, this conversation highlighted five powerful habits to help autism parents reclaim their energy, make effective decisions, and lead their families with clarity and purpose.
Here’s an actionable breakdown of these habits and how they can transform your life as an autism parent.
Habit 1: Become the CEO of Your Family
Every family managing autism needs a strong leader, and as a parent, that leader is you. The first step is acknowledging that no one else is going to "fix" the challenges your child faces. It’s up to you to step into this role with confidence. However, being the CEO doesn’t mean doing everything yourself. It’s about assembling your team – therapists, doctors, teachers, and other professionals – and ensuring they work cohesively to support your child’s unique needs.
Key Takeaways:
- Own the decision-making role: Recognize that as a parent, you’re the ultimate decision-maker for your child’s care.
- Curate your team: Fire practitioners or therapists who may not align with your goals. Find professionals who prioritize collaboration and respect your insights as a parent.
- Embrace accountability: Build the confidence to make choices, even if you’re unsure, and learn from the outcomes.
Expert Insight:
Len shared a vital lesson from his own journey: Early on, he placed too much trust in external experts, hoping they would "solve" the problem. Over time, he realized that no one knew his child better than he and his wife. Taking ownership of the decision-making process was a game-changer.
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Habit 2: Curate Your Inner Circle and Protect Your Energy
Your energy is one of your most valuable resources as a parent. Unfortunately, negativity, unsolicited advice, and toxic relationships can quickly drain your reserves. Assembling a trusted inner circle of supporters who truly uplift and understand you is essential.
Key Takeaways:
- Trim the noise: Minimize interactions with judgmental or overly critical people, even if they’re close family members.
- Surround yourself with positivity: Prioritize relationships with individuals who respect your journey and provide meaningful support.
- Involve the right voices: Your inner circle should consist of people who genuinely understand your child’s needs and your goals as a parent.
Practical Tip:
This habit also applies to your child’s environment. Ensure that the therapists, teachers, and caregivers your child interacts with bring positivity and patience, not added stress or pressure.
Habit 3: Respond, Don’t React
In high-stress situations, it’s easy to react impulsively – especially when your child is struggling with behaviors or challenges that feel overwhelming. However, learning to pause and choose a thoughtful response can dramatically improve the way you handle difficult moments.
Key Takeaways:
- Recognize the space: As Victor Frankl said, "There is a space between stimulus and response." Use that space to breathe, reflect, and choose your reaction.
- Challenge your beliefs: Often, our reactions are fueled by subconscious stories or beliefs. For instance, if your child exhibits challenging behavior, you might interpret it as disrespect rather than a sign of stress or sensory overload.
- Reframe situations: Replace limiting beliefs with empowering ones. For example, instead of viewing your child’s behavior as defiance, consider how it might reflect unmet needs or dysregulation.
Real-Life Example:
Len recounted a moment when his son’s loud screaming triggered frustration. Initially, he reacted with anger, interpreting his son’s behavior as disrespect. Upon reflection, he realized the belief driving his reaction wasn’t about his son at all – it was rooted in his own fear of being a "bad parent." By identifying and challenging that belief, he was able to respond with empathy and calm.
Habit 4: Slow Down to Speed Up
Parents often fall into the trap of doing "everything all at once" in an effort to see progress quickly. But this frenetic pace can lead to burnout and inefficiency. Instead, focus on slowing down, being intentional, and prioritizing what truly matters.
Key Takeaways:
- Pace yourself: Healing and growth are not races. Slowing down allows you to be more present and focused on what works best for your child.
- Prioritize presence: Spend quiet, unstructured time with your child, free of expectations or therapeutic agendas. Connection is incredibly healing.
- Reduce overwhelm: Instead of trying every therapy or intervention available, choose fewer options and implement them with intention and consistency.
Habit 5: Embrace the Power Half Hour
Taking care of yourself is not selfish – it’s necessary. The Power Half Hour is a daily routine designed to help you recharge, reflect, and refocus.
Key Takeaways:
- Make it personal: Your "Power Half Hour" can include anything that fills your cup – journaling, meditation, gratitude practices, light exercise, or simply sitting quietly with a cup of tea.
- Gratitude is key: Spend time reflecting on what’s going well, even in the midst of challenges. Feeling gratitude can shift your mindset and reduce stress.
- Stay consistent: Whether it’s 10 minutes or 30, the key is to build this habit into your daily routine.
Practical Suggestion:
If mornings are chaotic, split the time into two 15-minute sessions – one in the morning and one before bed. Even a few intentional minutes can make a difference.
Key Takeaways
- You are the CEO: Take ownership of your child’s healing journey by assembling the right team and trusting your decision-making abilities.
- Protect your circle: Surround yourself with supportive, positive people who uplift you and your family.
- Master the pause: Learn to respond thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively in stressful situations.
- Slow down to speed up: Focus on fewer, high-impact actions rather than trying to tackle everything at once.
- Prioritize self-care: Incorporate daily practices that recharge your energy and help you show up as your best self.
Conclusion
Parenting a child with autism is a transformative journey filled with opportunities for growth, connection, and healing. By implementing these five daily habits, you can create a calmer, more intentional path forward – one where you and your child can thrive together.
While the challenges may be great, so too are the rewards when you embrace your role as the confident, compassionate leader your family needs. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. With the right mindset, tools, and support, miracles are not only possible – they are inevitable.
Source: "5 Daily Habits to Help Autism Parents Stay Strong & See Breakthroughs w/ Len Arcuri" – The PX Docs, YouTube, Aug 19, 2025 – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McNsmRghHYo
